Forget Cute Onesies: This Is What Every New Mom Really Needs It’s true that it takes a village to raise a child, but sometimes it just takes a couple extra loads of laundry. We got real moms to share the acts of kindness that really eased their burden during those hectic first few weeks postpartum. By Jen Babakha, www.rd.com Istock/ChristinLola Along with a new baby comes sleep deprivation and the inability for a new mom to do many things for herself without a level of forethought and planning that would make her laugh in disbelief (if she wasn’t so exhausted). Offering to simply come to a new mom’s house and sit with her newborn while she takes a nap, showers, or eats a meal goes a long way to help her feel human again. “The nicest thing someone did for me after I had my son was come to my house and watching him while I took a nap,” says April, 34, says of an act of kindness she experienced after giving birth. “She washed dishes and did some laundry for me.” It might se...

How a parent’s affection shapes a child’s happiness for life By Sandi Schwartz We all live busy, stressful lives and have endless concerns as parents, but it is clear that one of the most important things we need to do is to stop and give our kids a big loving squeeze. Research over the past decade highlights the link between affection in childhood and health and happiness in the future. Science supports the idea that  warmth and affection expressed by parents  to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children,  according to  Child Trends , the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families. Continue reading...

The #1 thing new moms need? To show up + support us By Heather Marcoux When you have a baby, especially your first baby, people want to help. They bring over what seems like hundreds of onesies, books on child-rearing, bottles they swear calm colic, piles of receiving blankets and So. Many. Tiny. Toys. Most parents appreciate the gifts, but according to experts, what new parents  really  need in the first month of baby’s life can’t be found in stores: We need support—from ourselves, our loved ones and our communities. This gathering of a village doesn’t only help ease the transition, but has also been shown to  lessen rates of postpartum depression and anxiety . Continue reading...

How Nature Helps Fathers Nurture What biological forces could help explain why some fathers are more involved with children than others? BY   JEREMY ADAM SMITH ,  SUMMER ALLEN   Some dads are very involved in the lives of their children—while other fathers neglect, ignore, or even abuse their kids. That’s a fact. Are there biological factors that could help explain why some fathers are more nurturing than others? That’s the question being explored by Emory University anthropologist  James Rilling  in a series of innovative studies that are documenting how differences in hormone levels, sexual anatomy, and brain activity seem to relate to involvement with children. We know quite a lot about the biological changes that occur in women when they become mothers. At the most visible level, their hips spread and their breasts swell. There are also changes that aren’t visible to the naked eye: New neurons and connections develop in the grey matter ...

Is There a "Right" Way to Birth a Child? Both sides of the debate—natural or medical—may undermine women's agency. by  Elizabeth Aura McClintock Ph.D. Having recently told our families and friends that we are expecting our first child, I was surprised by the immediate advice and interrogation regarding our birth plans. I was expecting unsolicited input on our infant feeding choices—pressure to breastfeed is widespread, even as the health benefits of breastfeeding and the  morality  of breastfeeding advocacy are increasingly contested (Barnhill and Morain 2015; Colen and Ramey 2014; Rosin 2009). Doubtful as the empirical evidence may be, both those opposing the medicalization of motherhood and those in the medical establishment agree on the benefits of breastfeeding (see my  earlier post on breastfeeding ). But I was surprised that childbirth was subject to similar social monitoring, and even more surprised by the diversity of advice. Continue reading...

The Unexpected Loneliness of New Mothers Why it happens — and what parents of newborns can do. by  Guy Winch Ph.D. Few new parents have accurate expectations of how much their lives will change after the birth of their first child. The physical and mental exhaustion, and the constant  attention  newborns require, leave virtually no time for the individual pursuits or relationship activities that had characterized their lives previously. Even those who anticipate these challenges rarely anticipate their intensity. But there is one challenge few new parents see coming, especially nursing mothers —  loneliness . One might think that having a newborn by your side (or on you) virtually every minute of the day and night would lead to the opposite problem — to craving alone time. But while new mothers might feel extremely connected to their newborn, they often feel extremely  disconnected  from everyone else — including their spouse. Con...

We Need to Talk About the Rising Trend of Suicide in New Moms Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among new moms. Experts explain warning signs, the link between postpartum depression and suicide, and how to get help. Thanasis Zovoilis/Getty Images There's a cliché: The day your child is born is the best moment of your life. But regardless of feelings in the delivery room, the period that follows can be fraught with stress, anxiety, and depression. Left unchecked, these emotions can turn tragic. A study published in the  American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology  in June  examining maternal death 12 months after delivery, looked at more than a million women who gave birth in California hospitals between 2010 and 2012. It found 300 had died during follow-up—and suicide was the seventh leading cause. It's a reality affecting mothers across the nation:  Research published  by  JAMA  Psychiatry in 2013 found suicide is t...

'I thought the staff were trying to kill me': the illness that can haunt new mothers by Gary Nunn Experts are divided over what causes postpartum psychosis, which can leave mothers of newborns detached from reality   Sarah Hayes, who has suffered from postpartum psychosis,  with her son Alex, who was a few months old at the time. When Sarah Hayes’ son Alex was born 24 years ago, she wasn’t just happy – she was euphoric. “I couldn’t believe Alex was mine. Even after 30 hours of labour, I was full of energy,” she says. “I was so elated, I couldn’t switch off and sleep.” That lack of sleep lasted six nights straight. In the middle of the night, she would write poems. “It was so out of character,” she says. When back home, Hayes, now 49, believed she saw herself on TV. It was a news story about a woman who had won the lottery and hadn’t known. It showed Sarah and her family. She excitedly called up to her mum, who was visiting. Continue reading...

"We are torturing new mothers and then wondering why they get mentally ill." By Mia Scotland with MamaMia image by iStock Torturing  new mothers ? Who does that? Well, as a society, we all do. I’m not kidding, I’m perfectly serious, and I’m going to stop mincing my words and say it how it is. We torture mothers. Sleep  deprivation is a method of torture that has been used for at least 500 years and is still used today. It was used extensively in Guantanamo Bay. The difference between sleep deprivation in Guantanamo bay and in new mothers is that no-one is systematically and intentionally hurting new mothers. But the effect is the same. Sleep torture is designed to create psychological changes, which are supposed to encourage the victim to submit, to lose their sense of reality, and to talk. Continue reading...