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Parenting Naked Collaborative (PNC), what is that? Why is the word Naked in the title? Perhaps you’re a gregarious person, your response may be “Yeah! I’m in!”, or if you’re more of an introvert, your response may be “no way!”. This is a place for anyone who is experiencing parenting – biological or not.
Naked refers to how vulnerable some of us have felt when we found out we were expecting or when the reality of parenthood rears its ugly face, and we feel exposed, judged (by ourselves and others), lost and/or alone. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people who have loved every second – or most of their pregnancy and adore being parents – but this blog isn’t meant for that.
          What happens if you are female and your “maternal instinct” doesn’t kick in, or what if we don’t bond/attach to our babies – isn’t that an organic experience? Aren’t we supposed to see our baby for the first time and feel ultimate love? When I had my first child, I swear I gave birth to my husbands’ mini-me! My second child, I swore was an alien, he looked just like one! What if our birth plan didn’t go as we wanted and we feel lost, confused, hurt, disappointed? As a partner/spouse, aren’t you supposed to innately know how to support your partner through the pregnancy and birthing process and everything else that goes along with it? What if you paid thousands of dollars to get pregnant to discover you had no idea what you got yourself into or adopted to find that you and/or your child can’t attach, and they feel hollow inside? Who has prepared us for these feelings? Society? Teachers? Parents? Doctors? Our friends? Nope. Sadly, many of us trip and fall over these obstacles and we blame ourselves for being ignorant or blame ourselves or others and feel like there is something wrong with us? These emotions can create internal and external turmoil and anxiety which can lead to postpartum symptoms which could lead to self-harm or harming baby or conflicts within our relationships.
Parenting Naked Collaborative wants to open the door to have true, raw discussions about the nitty gritty of parenting from all aspects regardless of gender, sexuality, socioeconomics, cultural and everything in between. PNC is about being open to talking about how we are really feeling and thinking when it doesn’t coincide with the “norm” of pure bliss with baby and family.
Other related topics will include and are not limited to…how do our own personal attachment styles fit into our ability to bond and parent? How can a planned, unplanned, wanted or unwanted pregnancy impact my ability or want to parent? How does mental health concerns or substance abuse concerns affect the ability to parent and does it increase the symptoms of anxiety/depression and maladaptive coping skills? How is momma’s physical body impacted and emotional well-being affected? What are mirroring neurons and why are they important? Is being terrified of having a bowel movement after birth normal? What will sex be like after baby? What does sleep look like once baby has arrived, how will chores and household expectations change and mutate? What if one of us can’t handle this new life and they leave? What do health and nutrition look like once the baby has arrived? When does it get easier? Is anyone else fearful that their baby is going to die when they are quiet? Dear God or Higher Power! So many questions and concerns, and I’ve just scratched the surface.
First and foremost, you are not alone in your feelings. You are not wrong for feeling the way you feel. You need support if you feel like your sinking, you need support if you feel like harming yourself or your baby. It’s completely normal and natural to have fears and anxieties, and it's important to say them out loud to people of trust. You are brave, you are beautiful, and you are strong, even when you feel like you’re none of those things. NPC has your back!

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